Picked-up pieces while wondering if there’s anything else we can do to honor David Ortiz . . .
■ Could the Celtics have made potential “fireworks” any more boring? zzz. There HAS to be more. Sorry, I would have done a deal on draft night. I would have kept the No. 1 pick and overpaid the Knicks with all those overrated “assets.” I would have done handstands to bring Kristaps Porzingis to Boston. Or Jimmy Butler. The Celtics need adults, people who have proven they can play in the league. Best of luck to Jayson Tatum, but I’ve got no time for teen angels on training wheels on the parquet floor. The Timberwolves did what the Celtics should have done. They acquired Butler. They already have Karl-Anthony Towns and Andrew Wiggins. Now Butler. Minnesota did not make the playoffs this past season, but I’d take the Timberwolves over the current Celtics roster in a seven-game series today.
■ There are so many things wrong with major league baseball it’s hard to know where to start. It’s become a game of walks, strikeouts, and homers. True outcomes. Oh, and let’s not forget pitching changes. Bill Madden of the New York Daily News notes that the average number of pitchers in a game in 1978 was 4.2. Today it is 8.2. Twelve years ago, there were 12.6 strikeouts per game. Today it’s 16.5. This is why I’m not in love with Chris Sale’s whopping strikeout numbers. Sale is great. But it’s simply easier to fan guys these days. The hitters don’t care about the punchouts. They are not embarrassed to strike out. On May 25 of this year there were 10 MLB players who struck out four times in one game.
■ The Red Sox, whose chairman Tom Werner is a member of MLB’s committee to address the pace of games, play some of the longest games in the majors. NESN crams as many commercials as possible between innings and the Red Sox’ modus operandi of grinding out at-bats adds to the interminable length of games. The Sox recently had three consecutive games that lurched over four hours. Ever seen it before? You bet. Games 3, 4, and 5 of the epic 2004 Red Sox-Yankees ALCS went 4:20, 5:02, and 5:49 respectively. Nobody complained about those marathons, but a lot of the games this year have been unwatchable and insulting to folks who love the game.
■ You are a fan of a certain age if you remember that the father of Yankees catcher Austin Romine was once the Opening Day right fielder for the Red Sox. Kevin Romine played outfield for Joe Morgan before he was released in 1991. Two years later, Kevin Romine returned to Southern California and became a police officer, raising two sons who made it to the big leagues (Andrew Romine is an outfielder with the Detroit Tigers).
■ Can we all agree to retire the phrase “Patriot Way”? Bill Belichick scoffs at the mention of it, and Aaron Hernandez used it to trick everybody after he signed his whopping contract extension in 2012.
■ The Globe’s Shira Springer wrote a nice column about the 2017 notion of athletes being “chicked” — a term sometimes used by men when a female runner passes them before the finish line. Swell. Was I “chicked” when the Globe’s Jackie MacMullan blocked my shot and put me on my butt during a pickup basketball game a couple of decades ago? Guess so.
■ Daniel Henninger of the Wall Street Journal says that the Supreme Court’s unanimous decision to confer free-speech protection to Asian-American band “The Slants” could save the hideous and endangered Cleveland Indians logo, Chief Wahoo.
■ Quiz: Derek Jeter spent 20 seasons with the Yankees. According to the New York Times, there were 10 players who spent their entire careers with one team and lasted longer than Jeter. Name them. (answer below).
■ Bonus quiz: What is the common denominator for former Sox broadcaster Ned Martin and Roy Orbison’s “Pretty Woman”? (answer below, don’t bother if you are under 50).
■ Can we re-name Boston’s airport? Ortiz Airport sounds way better than Logan Airport.
■ Tom Brady still owes Charlie Weis for the short-passing game that has become his trademark and protection. But Brady does not need to buy Charlie lunch. Fired by Notre Dame in 2009, Weis’s buyout from the Irish was $18 million. His buyout from Kansas was $5.4 million.
■ Do not miss ESPN’s 30 for 30 “Celtics/Lakers: Best of Enemies.” Among other things, you will gain new appreciation for Cedric Maxwell as a player and a commentator.
Celtics/Lakers 30-for-30 trailer
■ It’s stunning to see the Cubs behind the Brewers in the National League Central, and Kyle Schwarber demoted to Triple A Iowa. World Series hero Schwarber, one of Theo Epstein’s favorite players, was hitting .171 with 28 RBIs in 64 games for the Cubs.
■ The first seven picks in the NBA Draft were one-and-dones.
■ The late Bud Collins dubbed Ilie Nastase “the Bucharest Buffoon.’’ It seemed mildly offensive at the time, but Nastase has validated Bud’s assessment with his racist characterizations regarding Serena Williams’s pregnancy.
■ Hats off to Steve Nazro, who retired after 50 years at the Garden last week. “The Commander” juggled the Garden’s schedule for more than 8,000 events, including more than 1,000 concerts. Nazro’s favorite event was the Beanpot, and from now on the Beanpot MVP will be the Steve Nazro Award.
■ Big congrats to Rio Gomez, son of excellent ESPN baseball guy Pedro Gomez, who was drafted by the Red Sox in the 36th round. Rio pitched at the University of Arizona and in the Cape Cod League. We look forward to him climbing through the Sox’ system.
■ Hope you noticed that the Tampa Bay Rays played an actual single-admission doubleheader against the Oakland A’s on Saturday, June 10.
■ Know-it-all Keith Law, one of the analytics guys who’s sucking all the joy out of baseball, contends that former Tigers second baseman Lou Whitaker is the best position player not in the Hall of Fame. The title of Law’s new book is “Smart Baseball: The Story Behind the Old Stats That Are Ruining the Game, the New Ones That Are Running It, and the Right Way to Think About Baseball.’’ OK, then.
■ When legendary St. Anthony’s high school basketball coach Bob Hurley retired, he invited all of his ex-players back to Jersey City to take home the trophies and banners they earned over his 45 years as coach. Hurley won 28 state championships at St. Anthony’s, a school that opened in 1952 and closed this year.
■ Quiz answer: Brooks Robinson (Orioles), Carl Yastrzemski (Red Sox), Al Kaline (Tigers), Stan Musial (Cardinals), Mel Ott (Giants), George Brett (Royals), Walter Johnson (Senators), Ted Lyons (White Sox), Cal Ripken Jr. (Orioles), Willie Stargell (Pirates).
■ Bonus quiz answer: “Mercy.’’
■ Five stars and highest recommendation for Leigh Montville’s “Sting Like A Bee,’’ the story of Muhammad Ali’s battle with the US Draft Board between 1966-71.
■ No more Hatch Shell. Let’s make it the Ortiz Shell. And Storrow Drive should be Ortiz Drive.Dan Shaughnessy is a Globe columnist. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org. Follow him on Twitter @Dan_Shaughnessy