Millions of viewers spent the better part of last week processing the anticipated anti-climax of “Game of Thrones,” which tumbled into its conclusion with all the heat and buzz of a completed dryer cycle, and glossed over more key details than me trying to tell co-workers about my weekend. In the end, the series truly tested its fans’ faith in fantasy: Fire-breathing dragons? Sure. Armies of the dead? Fine. But a rich white kid with a full staff and no charisma rising to absolute power just by claiming to know everything? I don’t know, seems pretty far-fetched.
Speaking of overextended fantasies, actress Natalie Portman had to come forward in an interview with Harper’s to correct a claim made by alleged musician Moby in his recent memoir that the two had dated when he was 33 and she was 20. “I was surprised to hear that he characterised the very short time that I knew him as dating, because my recollection is a much older man being creepy with me when I just had graduated high school,” Portman said, adding that she was 18 when they met. Moby defensively fired back by posting an old shirtless pic of himself with his arm around a half-smiling Portman to Instagram as indisputable evidence of . . . something, though likely not what he intended.
And elsewhere in one-sided romances, Twitter got to talking about first crushes on fictional characters hailing from TV (Winnie Cooper and Thomas Magnum P.I. were top finishers), cartoons (oh heeey, Prince Eric), and video games (it’s apparently hard to get Lara Croft out of your proverbial system). The heart wants what it wants, but it is a touch concerning to observe so much of America’s cumulative affections directed toward imaginary anthropomorphized creatures. (I mean unless we’re talking about Bowser, because that turtle was an absolute stud.)
And finally in news that is somehow from the real world, a furious President Trump tweeted out a heavily edited viral video of House Speaker Nancy Pelosi altered to make her speech sound slurred and incoherent. I, for one, was surprised to learn the video had been altered; to my ears she sounded quite presidential.
BRODEURMichael Andor Brodeur can be reached at email@example.com. Follow him on Twitter @MBrodeur.